The Rolling Stones recorded most of Exile on Main Street in a villa in the south of France called Nellcôte.

Cocaine and vomit at the first Nellcote…

Crazy shit went down at Nellcôte. It’s rumored that Nazis occupied it and tortured locals in the basement. Apparently, while the Stones were recording Exile, there was a pretty wild house party there one night. (John Lennon puked all over the floor and blamed it on the Methadone.) There were…drugs.

Hell, I don’t know where I’m going with this. I can’t talk about this kind of lifestyle. My idea of a great night is a Redbox rental and deep-dish delivery. With my cat.

But for those who can hang, there’s a new Nellcôte coming closer to home — and the Chicago version will skip the cocaine-and-vomit excess for a more classic version of luxury and opulence.

Much nicer at the West Loop Nellcote.

Created by Element Hospitality Group, which is also behind Chicago’s Old Town Social and RM Champagne Salon, with a menu created by Executive Chef Jared Van Camp, this West Loop night spot is going to be so…damn…rock ‘n’ roll. Here’s what their publicist told me:

The concept is meant to capture this particular cultural zeitgeist, where the young Rolling Stones partied and dined in Villa Nellcôte with the who’s who of early 70s Bohemia—a veritable checklist of rock ‘n’ royalty including artists, style icons, deviants, socialites and creative misfits.

(Veritably. I’m convinced pretty much everywhere in Chicago is too cool for me.)

And I got invited to preview it, before anyone else in the city, on Tuesday night, Feb. 28.

A first look at the white marble, wrought-iron gates, crystal chandeliers and Parisian herringbone wood floors!
Tray-passed previews of Van Camp’s “obsessively house made” menu items!
Hosted specialty cocktails!
WINE!

And then…my heart broke into tiny rock ‘n’ roll pieces. Because I realized I’ll be out of town. In San Antonio. For work.
Man. Some timing I’ve got with this full-time job nonsense!

Van Camp has his own FLOUR MILL, for God’s sake!
Sigh. But you — you can go. Because in addition to my invitation, I was also offered some tickets to give to people I love. (That’s you!)
I’ve got three pairs of tickets burning a hole in my pocket, and I want you to be my proxy at this amazing shindig. If I can’t be there myself, I want as many people I know there to tell me all about it when I get home.

So, wanna go get your rocks off? (Ew.)

Just three things to be eligible — and seriously, you’ve got a pretty good chance, because not many people read this dumb blog:

1. Make sure you’re free on Tuesday night, for God’s sake. If I pick you and then you flake out, I will be angry.
2. Leave a comment here with the Stones lyric (from any album) that best describes your feelings about this event.
3. Tweet this to your adoring followers (or post it to Facebook and tag me): “Call me the tumblin’ dice! I wanna be @paigeworthy’s proxy for @nellcote833′s VIP preview party! You can enter too: http://bit.ly/pw-nellcote”

Do this before Saturday night. I’ll choose a winner randomly on Sunday morning from deep in the Heart of Texas — and if you’re one of the lucky few, I’ll get your and your guest’s names on the list at the door on Tuesday night.

Best of luck, and may the good Lord shine a light on you.

Crystal chandeliers. Get after it.