Submitted, for your consideration: A Struggle of Not Struggling.

(Prepare to resist the urge to scream and break things.)

It’s one of those articles where you see the headline and realize you’re walking right into the biggest train wreck you’ve seen all day.
And I see a lot of train wrecks. I actually love train wrecks. (Sometimes I’m one of ‘em.)

It begins:

Like most female journalists, I assume, I only grew up with two real inspirations in my life: Carrie Bradshaw and Harriet the Spy.

…………

Oh, dear. This will go well.

She, like me, had plans a career in New York City, living the life we see on television. I think a lot of girls, especially ones who grow up in smaller towns and the Midwest, dream of this.

But she goes on to lament her choice to throw these dreams away when the harsh reality of the recession set in; she passed up the glamorously broke life and her impending mid-life crisis in lieu of practicality.

Now, two months after graduation, I seem to be one of just a handful of people that’s been able to get themselves on their feet, pay their own bills and actually put together some semblance of an adult life with minimal parental assistance. I bought a car, found an apartment and set up a 401k, just six months after turning 22. I came down on the “right” side of every statistic — I found a job in my field that actually pays well, I’m living on my own, and seem to have everything that these other college graduates are dying to have.

Girl, I do not like you.

She’s actually disappointed that she didn’t get to struggle on shitty freelance work and a crappy apartment shared with 17 roommates in Bed-Stuy.  ”I chose the path of a full-time job and an adult life,” she sobs. Like she can never go back now that she’s shackled herself to upward mobility. Oh, woe is me.

Taylor, I can’t wait until your boss realizes he hired an idiot — probably after reading this comment — and has to wrestle with some pretty tough decisions himself. Although they won’t be that tough, because these things actually are reversible. You can lose everything in a heartbeat.

The number of people I know who “did everything right,” just like you did, and still can’t get work — not even the 10-cents-a-word kind — seems to go up every 47 seconds or so. Or, worse, they had great jobs and lost them.
And all those people have every right to hate you, because you are an asshole.

You are really dumb.
For real.

(You should go hang out with this dope for a minute. I’m sure you’ll get all kinds of content ideas.)

I’ll look forward to your follow-up column about getting everything you ever wanted because you lost that cushy job, can no longer pay for your car and have to look to your parents for way more than minimal assistance.

If this is Taylor Cotter’s idea of a springboard into a successful career as an edgy, of-the-moment female voice, I hope she gets one hell of a wake-up call from the Internet hive mind.

Shame on Taylor Cotter for thinking it’s even remotely okay to write smug swill like this, and shame on the Huffington Post for encouraging her while, at the same time, knowing it was going to spark a firestorm of viral criticism and make them more money.

And, I guess, shame on me for perpetuating it even further. Sometimes I’m just embarrassed to be…seemingly way, way too much like her. And I have to put it out there.
Ugh.

Oh, tro-o-o-o-o-ll?