I found an email in my spam folder recently from the company that created WordPress’s most forgettable anti-spam plugin, celebrating their “It’s been 18 years, I guess it’s time for Akismet to have a sale” Sale.

First of all, the irony is delicious: An anti-spam business can’t keep their own emails out of spam, even with a subject line that starts with “Not spam.”

Second…y’all, I have not heard boo from you in ✨ever✨. 

Here’s the screenshot I posted to my LinkedIn:

They say the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, and the second best time is now. This goes for email marketing, too, except: during this polar-vortex zombie-apocalypse miasmic farrago of inbox bombardment.

If you’ve finally decided to “do email” for your business, Black Friday/Cyber Monday/Giving Tuesday/Waste Money Wednesday/Throw Money At It Thursday/OMG Sale Extended Next Friday will eat your messages alive and prove disheartening for you, at best.

You know what now is a great time for? Getting that strategery in place for next year.

Here are four things to noodle on as you hatch that plan 🍜

• Have you created a customer-obsessed brand message? Before you write a single email, you should know how to speak clearly about what you do and share how it’s gonna transform your dream customers’ lives. 
• Do you have An Actual Perspective™? Emails that regurgitate the same stats and bland industry platitudes get hard ignored.
• Have you filled out a stable of stories to tell in your emails? 🐴 Stories are how we connect with folks. (Clearly, “tidings of eye rolls and ‘Oy!’” are one of my primary categories to draw from.)
• What’s your plan to keep growing that list? If a tree falls in the forest… (Wow, two tree references in one email! 🌲)
  

And once you start emailing, don’t stop (get it, get it): engaging, valuable, ongoing stuff > occasional “wyd” when you have something to sell.

Be Tushy*, not Akismet.

* That link will send you to Milled.com’s archive of the bidet company Tushy’s absolutely incredible emails.

Do not click it if you are squeamish about #buttstuff.

Click it if you want to see what showing up regularly with hilarious value looks like.
I haven’t decided whether I’ll send a dedicated email about the goldmine of insights Tushy has given me on how to do email right — was a dedicated email about bras actually enough/too much? do I risk another pearl-clutching session? Actually…hit reply and tell me what you think🤔