I spend every morning drinking coffee with my friends. Sometimes for hours on end. They do all the talking — but I don’t mind.

Because my friends are Steve Inskeep, A Martinez, Leila Fadel, and Dave Mattingly. Mary Dixon in Chicago and Cherry Glaser in Los Angeles.

NPR’s Morning Edition purrs away for hours on end through my Sonos system every weekday as I feed the cats, make breakfast, and do my daily puzzles. (Has Wordle been pissing you off lately, too, or is it just me? 🤬)

These kaffeeklatsches do occasionally become contentious, though.

Yes, I holler at my speakers when a guest is allowed to continue spewing particularly egregious political poppycock. But much of my irritation revolves around the moments between stories: the sponsor spots.

According to NPR’s website, sponsor messages may include:

• Qualitative language that describe a quality or feature of a product or service, provided it is not overly promotional and is true and accurate
• Comparative language, as long as substantiation for claims is provided, and that the language is not overly promotional or denigrates the competition
• Product and service pricing, provided the language is tasteful (editor’s note: who decides what’s tasteful?)
• “Learn more” language directing the user to the sponsor’s website or other source

But nowhere in those guidelines does it say “yawner copy that blurs the lines between all the mattress, software, and wealth management companies.”

I groan every time I hear an ad for Indeed, “designed to be an end-to-end hiring solution for businesses of all sizes,” or a business being “committed to” doing whatever thing it is they do.

And I swear these nothing burgers wind up in 86% of spots.

🙄 Can’t you just be the end-to-end hiring solution, Indeed?
🙄 Can’t you just do the thing instead of saying how committed you are to it?

You have less than 15 seconds to get your point across. Don’t mince your words! Chop them!

How.
Ever.

When I went online looking for lazy NPR ad examples (apparently other people aren’t as angsty as I am about this), I found some case studies about “soundscapes” created for podcast brand sponsors.

They’re short interview snippets, not ads, that tell an impact story (instead of making vague claims).

🚙 Subaru highlighted the power of its “Love Promise” through a conversation between a dealership owner and their local nonprofit partner.

✨ I’m still not sure what this Love Promise is 🤷 but I’m certainly more curious about it having heard a real story about the initiative’s impact, not just Subaru’s “commitment” to it.

👵🏾 Home Instead senior care featured a caregiver, Bonnie, talking about her approach and the relationship she has with one of the seniors in her care.

✨ Hearing Bonnie’s real voice, complete with a little Southern drawl, drove home the personal touch Home Instead clearly wants to add to their care.

⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

Moral of the story: There’s a time and place for straight-up marketing and advertising — choose your words carefully — but a little story that drives the point home is always welcome.