“Can I get you a better price on this project? Every day and twice on Sunday. You’re gonna owe me the nicest bottle of wine — I’m gonna be your best friend.”

…ew, my guy 🚩

This isn’t gonna be a name-and-shame email because I believe in punching up, and Googlably calling this guy out would decidedly be punching down.

So.

We’re remodeling our kitchen and prepared to spend a pretty penny on it.

Our first estimate came in mind-bogglingly high, so after calming my heart palpitations, I took to the Internet again and found this fellow.

From the second our Zoom discovery started, I was icked.

Bono is the only person on the planet who should wear yellow-tinted glasses, and even then, he gets a pass only because of Joshua Tree.

And Aaron Sorkin characters are the only folks on the planet who should be allowed to talk as fast as he does.

It was the worst kind of first date: one-sided “me-me-me” conversation, manufactured intimacy — stop telling me I seem “lovely” — and an expectation that I was gonna jump into bed with his business after our first meeting 🛏️

(Fun fact about me: immediately heeding red flags isn’t exactly my superpower.)

But I want to share the two things that really set off my spidey sense, Paige.

Number one: The message was off.

Part of this is on me: The website hero clearly says “Want the best price on your remodel?” It’s one of their Things. 

But “luxury Chicago kitchen remodels” is also one of their things, so much so that they rank for it.

I established early in our conversation — when I managed to squeeze a word in edgewise — that cost wasn’t my only factor, but it was all this man could talk about. 

And he talked a lot.

As he became increasingly desperate to convince me his company was It, he only dug his heels in deeper. A Westworld robot glitching out mid–sales pitch.

YES, develop a deep understanding of your typical customer! 

And read the room when you’ve got a great lead you also know can benefit from your services! Speak to their needs and become obsessed with their aspirations! Why is this so hard to understand?!

This is why I will not start a client project without digging into messaging. 

If I were skeletoning out a brand story for this company, btw? The key problem would be price. But success would be multilayered:

✨ a concrete, professional design
✨ less overwhelm in the search for a contractor
✨ a best-fit contractor relationship based on existing relationships
✨ finished project executed exactly to original plans
✨ not having to write an email about how gross this design company is

Etc.

Strong messaging is the Zyrtec to a business’s money allergy triggered by an insight void 

Okay, number two… 

Actually, I’m saving it for later — this is bro enough to be its own post.